Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Geologists Just Cracked Open a 500-Million-Year Mystery in the Grand Canyon — What They Found Is Rewriting Earth’s History - Indian Defence Review

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do some women squirt and some don't?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

— fri(end)s forever!

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Former Clemson DB on College Football Hall of Fame ballot - TigerNet

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Texas Tech's NiJaree Canady breaks down after heavy pitching load in Women's College World Series - AP News

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

The Action Network: Cracker Barrel 400 predictions, picks, odds for Nashville - NASCAR.com

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

This Genetic ‘Trick’ Helped the Black Death Linger for Centuries - Gizmodo

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Here's Where Traders Expect Broadcom Stock to Go After Earnings - Investopedia

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Win a signed pink cycling jersey of Giro winner Simon Yates - Team Visma

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Brain ‘Reset Wave’ May Explain How ECT Rapidly Relieves Depression - Neuroscience News

I don’t cotton to rapists

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I see through liars

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I actually pay taxes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center